Skinny Bitches

We were at the pool yesterday and on the whistle break I over heard this woman talking to a young girl. The woman was middle aged  I'd guess in her 40's maybe and overweight. Not morbidly huge but she was on the big side. She was dressed appropriately in her one piece suit and at times had a button up shirt over it. She wasn't someone who would grab my attention for good or bad reasons. Just you average looking Maine woman. 

What upset me was what she was telling the girl who was 10ish and very thin. Now I didn't hear the entire conversation so maybe I would feel different if I had. BUT she was telling this girl how hard it is to be friends with someone who is skinny, how she never felt good enough. 

I realize that weight and body image is a huge issue but I felt offended. Like she was saying a skinny person can't be a good friend and that everyone judges based on outward appearances. When in fact SHE was doing the exact thing she was complaining about. 

I am really really really trying so hard to not make a big deal about how my girls look. I try to let them pick out their own clothes and let them do what they want with their hair. I also have tried to make an effort not to comment on how :cute: other kids are but say something about their abilities. 

If we as women want to be valued for more than our appearances then we ALL have to work to change it, not just blame the skinny bitches.

Leaf Stamping

The girls and I usually walk down the hill to get the mail when the weather permits and I have the energy to haul the Bean back up. She's refuses to walk herself. You'd think I would remember to take the Ergo out of the truck to make it easier to carry her but of course if I did that she's want down to play along the way.

Since spring has finally sprung, I've noticed some really nice big leaves on the trees along the driveway. We picked some and decided to make leaf rubbings with crayons. Then we got creative and used the leaves as stamps by painting the back side with water color paint then stamping them onto paper. The pictures turned out pretty and it was an easy enough craft for the girls to do. It was also a great way to learn about all the different types of trees growing around our house.

Jackman.

Chris dodged another lay off, at least for the moment. He was sure that he was going to be sent home "to the couch" but instead was sent to Jackman, Maine to do some repair work at the Moosehead Lumber Company. I had never heard of Jackman and had no idea where it was so I turned to Mr. Mapquest to find out. Jackman is about 130 miles northwest of us and about 16 miles from the Canadian border. Jackman is a touristy town that hosts snowmobile riders and ice fisherman in the winter, campers in the summer and hunters in the fall. Oh and about 8 hundred gazillion black flies in the spring.

When I realized that Jackman looked like a fun place to visit and affordable accommodations at Sally Mountain Cabins were right on Wood Pond, I knew that the girls and I had to go too! Thank goodness a friend was willing to stop by and check on our dogs, so within about an hour we were all packed for a few days away!

The ride up was nice, we saw two young bull moose as we got further into the "country". Thankfully Chris saw them in plenty of time and they stood looking at us long enough to get some nice pictures. Both girls were able to see them too. They thought it was pretty cool to see a big moose up close!

We got to the cabin about 8 Tuesday night just in time to see a beautiful sunset. Since both girls took long naps during the day, they were wound up tight and excited to be in a new place. It took a couple hours to get settled down enough to get everyone to sleep.

Chris had to go into work at 7 Wednesday morning so the girls and I walked up the road for some gas station coffee and to see what we could find along the way. We didn't find much! So we headed back to the cabin to watch some cartoons and wait for it to warm up a bit. It stayed pretty windy most of the day but we did get to dip our toes into the very cold water a few times. The girls were very curious about all the boats lined up on the shore.

Chris came back to the cabin for lunch and then let us have the truck for the afternoon. We found a small playground and played until the black flies drove us back inside. We went to pick Chris up at 5 and got to watch him weld for a few minutes. Pie thought the sparks were very sparkly!

We spent the evening playing catch outside with a ball the girls found under the cabin porch. The girls were worn out and fell asleep pretty easily Wednesday night. So did I! Chris stayed up late watching the Bruins play in the Stanley Cup Finals.

We woke up Thursday morning to strong wind and rain. So we stayed in the cabin watching cartoons, coloring and reading stories. We tried to go out several times but we weren't dressed for the chilly wind.

Chris got done working about 4:30 and we decided to head back home. It wasn't a long trip but it was nice to get away and see something new for a few days.

Next week Chris heads to the paper mill in Jay for a few days, hopefully more work will come his way during the end of the week.

I both love and hate the traveling Chris does with his job. I don't like him being away from us, especially for more than a few nights but we have had some really great opportunities to travel with him that we would not have had otherwise.

Feast or Famine

Chris has worked the last seven weeks without a day off. I am so proud of him for being so dedicated to both his job and to being the financial supporter of our family but it's taken a toll on him. He is now sick as a dog. Today they finished up loading the last module onto the barge and it ships out on Thursday. Right now he is waiting for lay off papers. His company has kept him very busy in the past 3 years but seem to be turning into a management only company, subcontracting out their work to other companies. So the future is uncertain for us. There aren't a lot of other jobs around, especially that pays what Chris is making now. We wouldn't mind moving but that is so expensive in itself and with little income it's just about impossible. So we will take things one day at a time and hope for the best.

It's been too long.

When I first started this blog I decided that I would do my best to write about the positive things in my life. I didn't figure anyone one wanted to hear me bitch and I thought it might force me to see things in a brighter light. I did pretty well for awhile and actually went thought my day looking for things to blog about. Then we went to New Hampshire, the girls and I were busy so I didn't write much. When we got home we ran into some major drama with the person who was taking care of our house, then came the annual visit from the in-law and then on to the holidays. I lost all ability to see anything positive. Winter is hard on me. I miss green grass and blooming flowers. I miss being able to go outside and not having to get bundled up only to still freeze my butt off. I miss the sunshine. This winter was especially snowy and of course our plow didn't survive the amount of work it had thrust upon it. We had someone who was going to change the plow from one truck to another for us. He was going to do it for the price he could scrape the old truck for. Well he scrapped the truck and never did the work. Easy 300 bucks for him and we were out both the money and the completed work.

I really hoped the once spring got here I would be able to crawl out of the dark hole I felt like I was in. I think I am about half way there.This spring has been rainy and not very warm but the flowers are blooming and I have the garden planted. So there is hope.

I am finding that raising a 2 and 3 year old is H.A.R.D. Taking care of two babies was easy peasey compared to dealing with a toddler and a preschooler. I love them with every once of my being but it is hard work to raise kids. Every where you turn is someone who thinks you should do this or that. If you discipline one way you are a pushover, if you do it the other way it's too harsh. If you let your kids eat McDonald's, you are a terrible mother but when you try to feed them healthy food you get lost in all the confusion of artificial colors and additives and, and, and ,and. Everything causes something. It certainly makes you feel like you can't win. It's very easy to feel incredibly insecure when raising children. I'm not even going to go into the stress I feel over vaccinations.

Pie is getting close to school age which lead to another extremely stressful situation for me. Chris and I have talked seriously about teaching our girls at home. I would love to be able to do this and have spend hours and hours researching and reading about other home school families. Unfortunately we have zero support in our decision.  That doesn't mean we aren't still pursuing the idea but I have to admit that it very depressing to not be encouraged. Certainly adds to the insecurities I already have.

Part of the reason that we'd like to teach our kid at home is the situation with our local school. The school in our town is going to close at some point in the near future, probably before our girls would be old enough to be enrolled. They would then be bussed more that 15 miles away to another town to attend their school. I am not comfortable with the idea of my girls on a school bus at all let alone for such a long time everyday. Both the school in town and the proposed school don't show very high test scores. Public schools in Maine have shown that high school graduates are not prepared for entry level college classes. I just don't feel like we should settle for mediocre when we could at least try for something better. Education is changing from the standard classrooms that Chris and I sat in as children. Higher education is online more and more. I don't see why it would be such a horrible idea to take a different approach with early education too.

O.L.D.

Thanks to my amazing husband and awesome daughters, I had one of the best birthdays ever.

Chris had a 5 day weekend, thanks to President's Day and a bonus paid day off from his company. He also had a nice paycheck from busting his butt 2 weeks ago shoveling snow in Mass.

We had an awesome steak dinner on Sunday night after the girls went to bed. Monday, Chris woke up and cooked French toast for breakfast and took us for a drive out to Frenchman's Bay to see the big water. Unfortunately the big water was calm and didn't come crashing up on the rocks. However it was so cold that we only stayed long enough to take a couple pictures and were on our way again. 

We decided to go to McDonald's so the girls could play for awhile. Pie found a little boy to play dragon with! Sammie wanted to go potty every 5 minutes. Once we got home, Chris and the girls baked a chocolate chip pound cake and put way too many candles on it for me to blow out!

On Sunday we had a nice breakfast and spent the morning relaxing until a pillow fight broke out. Then we got ready and headed to the swimming pool. Not realizing that it was winter break for all the school kids, we walked into chaos at the pool! Ack! Not my idea of a good time but we all survived and the girls had fun! We got dried off and dressed, then headed to Burilington Coat Factory. Daddy thought a new dress would take the place of "Emma's Dress" that Pie wears 24/7. She picked out a pretty purple polka-dot sun dress but when she tried it on at home, she decided it was too tight and put her old stand buy back on.  Next we went to Miguel's for Mexican food. Surprisingly, it was pretty good!

The girls fell asleep on the way home and we got them put to bed without much effort. Then sat down to watch a movie together!

I am so thankful to have such an amazing husband and awesome children!

TwO

Happy 2nd Birthday BeanieBaby!

We celebrated the day with presents, McDonald's Playland and PINK birthday cake! It just amazes me what an incredible little girl Sammie is. She is so smart, can talk so well, is almost completely out of diapers and is just overall plain awesome!

I am so thankful that I listened to my gut after her big sister was born. I knew God had a plan for us when it came to having kids and I am so grateful that He blessed us with my little beaniebaby!  

Whiteout!

We have had so much snow this year that we are all seeing white! The girls have a bit of cabin fever and our "cabin" isn't big enough for them to get all their wiggles out. I would be happy the lay on the couch all day with a blanket and a good book, but that wont get the house cleaned, meals cooked or keep the girls occupied. When they are bored they get grumpy!

So on Wednesday, we headed out in the cold to do some snow painting. I had read about this way last summer and Pie had been waiting for he chance to do it for months. We filled some spray bottles with water and food coloring and went after the 4 foot high snow banks all around the yard. Pie had fun squirting the snow, me, Sam and Tig. Sam had fun too but didn't quite have the strength in her hands to squirt much.

It sure was nice to see some color in our yard again. After all we still have about 6 more weeks until spring officially gets here, which probably means another 8 or 9 weeks of snow on the ground. Ugh.

Snow Days

Chris went back to work this week after 3 weeks of time off over the holidays. Partly due to a hurt neck and partly due to a lack of work. It was nice to have him home but nice to get back to normal too.

It's been cold and snowy this week and frankly, I just haven't felt like getting out and going anywhere. So we've gotten some extra cleaning done this week and done some arts and crafts here at home!

We cut apart a cardboard box, leftover from Christmas and dissected the latest Current catalog that came in the mail, mixed some flour and water and made decoupage Valentine cards for daddy. (Everything we make ends up being for daddy!)

With a few Wacky Mac noodles the projects were complete!

 

Wheeeeee!

On New Year's day we headed over to Abbot Park in Winterport to go sledding! Pie and I had so much fun while daddy with his sore neck watched and Sam slept in the truck.

We raced down the hill, sometimes I won and sometimes she did. I was impressed at how well she was willing to walk back up the hill. At 36+ pounds, I don't think I could have carried her too many times, along with 2 sleds!

Sam woke up in time for a couple runs too and had a blast sledding with her sister!



Life on a mountain in the winter.

We got more that a foot of snow in the "Blizzard of 2010" on December 27th. It snow for about 36 hours straight. On the 28th we got out and attempted to plow the hill so we could get down the driveway. Our house sits about 200 feet up off the main road and the hill is pretty darn steep. It ended up turning into a Murphy's law kind of day. The snow was so wet and heavy that the plow (with a broken spring) was getting pushed up over the snow instead of staying down on the ground. It took us about twice as many swipes but eventually we saw the dirt again.

Along the south side of the hill runs a ditch that gets deeper and deeper every year as the water runs off the mountain down into the drainage ditch. At one point we got a little bit to close to the ditch and got stuck. Glad we have another truck so we could pull the plow truck out! Then... we ran out of gas. So we loaded up in the Tundra and headed to town only to find out that Wally World was sold out of gas cans. We ended up with a yellow "kerosene" can that worked just fine, we also picked up some jumper cables because the plow truck seems to like to eat batteries for lunch.

We made it home and started to plow down the hill again, got to the bottom, turned around in the road and the truck dies again! Chris has to hike his tired butt back up the slippery hill to bring the Tundra back down. He pulled the plow out of the road and tried to jump it again. No luck. So we went back up, got the battery out of the other truck, made it back up the hill with both trucks. we only had a little bit more left to plow but now the plow wont lift up! By this time we were all ready to just give it up! 

Is it April yet?

Observations in Playland

Yesterday Pie wanted to go to McDonald's Play land. She bugged and begged her daddy until he gave in and took us all for a late lunch before we did a little grocery shopping. The closest indoor Micky D's play land is in Bangor about 25 miles from home. I continue to be amazed that there are so few places to take your kids to play, especially in the winter. I guess maybe that is why Maine has such an obesity problem.

Both girls fell asleep on the way. This made me happy because Sam had been getting in the habit of taking some really long, late naps lately which means she wants to stay up late. That would be OK except that Pie likes to get up when the rooster crows.

Both girls were so thrilled to wake up and see Ronald's shining smile greet them at the door and the smell of chicken nuggets and of course that promised toy in the happy meal box. They both ate a good unhealthy lunch ( and yes I let them have fries over "apple dippers" because well, they like them.) Then we headed off to play!

McD's has have recently replaced their play land equipment and created a toddler area with an cool piano slide that makes music as you slide down. Unfortunately, there were 5 girls that had taken over the area who were clearly older than the age limit of 3. Pie can hold her own pretty well but the older girls weren't so nice to Sam. I was about to bust out my mama bear protectiveness when the nice older lady who oversees the play area stepped in and got the girls under control.

As I looked around and matched up the kids with the parents I found it interesting to see how many parents had their laptops open or were absorbed by their smart phones while their kids were running amok. I will admit that I do spend plenty of time online and the girls spend a considerable amount of time watching TV but when we are out doing something as a family, I want to make the most of it and I actually enjoy watching my girls play. I felt bad for the parents who were missing out on the time they were wasting with their children. They grow up so fast and I have the feeling that the internet will be here for a long time to come.

My New Year's resolution is to remember to keep those priorities straight.

She melts my heart

Pie has really impressed me with her ability to know the right thing to say at the right time. She has an amazing sense to know when someone is upset and needs a hug or tells them she loves them. She doesn't like to see anyone unhappy. She has warmed my heart so many times lately and it just makes me so proud that she has this trait. She is usually rough and tough and loves to run and be wild so I'm glad to see her show such a sensitive side too. She really is an amazing child.

Christmas Day

Despite all my bah-humbug-ness we had a really nice Christmas. It took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to get them to sleep on Christmas Eve, mostly because they had both taken nice long naps during the day. Pie and Sam decided to get in the Christmas spirit buy singing, or rather, yelling JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLS!!!! At the top of their lungs. It was hilarious! At least for a while...

Christmas morning we woke up and the girls were so excited to see all the presents under the tree and so happy that daddy had filled their stockings. They both did really well making sure the other one had a present to open and were actually more excited about the gifts than the paper!

They got some really amazing gifts, especially the picture puzzles that Grandpa had made for them. And of course the loved their pillow pets that they have been going crazy for every time they see them in the store!

They were truly blessed with so many new toys and gifts from everyone. And I am proud to say that my girls were happy to get so many new books!

My Christmas gift was an hour to my self, to relax and take a little nap. After I got up we went outside to play in the snow and then cooked our traditional Christmas dinner of manicotti. Yum, yum!!

I am thankful that we had a very nice day!

Through Her Eyes

Last night Pie wanted to take some pictures with my camera. It was amazing to see what she saw through the lens. I asked her to help me caption the picutres she took...

Lily

 "My Firetruck"

 "Tig"

 "Sammie's Bear"

 "It's the Christmas tree"

"Sammie and her bear"

 

"Pie with her eyes"



Bah HumBug!

As an adult I have grown to really dislike the holiday season. It starts out with the end of summer, which leads to my gardens dieing off, flowers wilting away, leaves falling and then the dreaded snow. Winter is just plain depressing, I count the days until spring comes and I see new sprouts, buds and life again.

Christmas was wonderful as a child, I have no complaints. My parents did a great job making the holidays happy. There was rarely drama and never any guilt trips, at least that I noticed as a child. It was wonderful having all three sets of Grandparents around and they all got along so well. I never knew how much of an amazing thing that was at the time. Christmas morning was magical and everything that a child thinks it should be.

Once I became independent and had to start actually buying Christmas presents for everyone and try to pay the normal bills too, I realized how stressful the holidays are financially. We barely had enough money to cover the grocery bill, let alone to buy presents, especially equal to what we ended up receiving. That always made me feel guilty and less than.

Our families do not get along with each other and so most of our holidays were spent divided up between the two and always with a dash of tears and a sprinkle of guilt. No matter how much time we spent with certain people there was always the "Oh, you have to leave now?" drama fest that grated on the Christmas spirit until it no longer existed.

Since we moved away from Colorado, our holidays have become much less stressful and I can avoid the guilt just by not answering the phone (Chris isn't always so lucky). We are able to do what we want and can spend our time actually enjoying the holiday and creating our own traditions. I don't feel obligated or committed to anything that means nothing to me. But I do miss my family so much.

I hate that I feel like this about a time of year that is supposed to be so freaking wonderful, but I do. I would just as soon boycott the whole damn thing and get on with spring already. I've tried to get into the festive-ness of it all for the sake of our girls. I don't want my scrooge tendencies to rub off on them.

It has been hard on Pie this year. Her birthday is 4 days before Christmas and gets to open some gifts but has to be patient and leave the rest until Christmas morning. Last night proved to be too much for her to handle and she ended up having the worst meltdown ever. It broke my heart to see her like that over something that is supposed to be happy and it made her miserable. I tried to let her know that I understood, that i knew it was hard, her feelings were totally valid. Finally she calmed down enough to get in her jammies and drifted off to dreamland only to wake up again knowing she had presents to open. I think maybe next year we need to re-think this whole thing and really figure out what it's supposed to be all about because what we've been doing just doesn't feel  right.

How lucky am I?

Facebook is a very interesting thing. I love how it can be custom for each user and can be so very very different depending on each person's interests. Chris only uses his facebook to play Mobsters2 and a few other games. He rarely ever reads the newsfeed and most of his "friends" are people who he doesn't even know. My facebook keep my in touch with my family and my closest friends and keep my informed of news and topics dear to my heart: natural living, parenting, breastfeeding and cloth diapering. I don't have a ton of friends and don't want facebook to be a virtual high school reunion, I've moved way, way, WAY beyond those years and have z.e.r.o. desire to relive that part of my life.

I was talking to Chris the other day about our diaper stash, the girls are so close to being done with diapers (I really don't like the term potty "trained", they aren't dogs and I haven't done much training anyway, they've learned to use the potty based on their own abilities...) Anyway, most of our diapers are about shot. The newest prefolds are going on 2 years old and have been used on both girls. They have held up really well but have been used and abused!

29 diapers has had the MOST awesome giveaway going on this month. For 29 days they have given away some of the coolest prizes, diapers, covers and so many other products related to cloth diapering! I was lucky enough to win 2 dozen prefolds from their sponsor  The Little Seedling ! How exciting is that?

There is still one giveaway left and it's the BIG ONE! Woohooo! The grand prize is: an autographed copy of the book Ecofrugal Baby: How To Save 70% Off Baby’s First Year, a 3-pack of Happy Heinys pocket diapers, a pack of Bummas cloth wipes, an Itzy Ritzy wet bag, Zoe Organics diaper balm, a gallon of Allen’s Naturally detergent from The Little Seedling boutique, a Weleda baby toiletries starter kit, Episencial wash, soothing cream, and face balm to pamper both mom and baby, AND 2 Thirsties Duo Wrap diaper covers with 4 Duo Hemp Prefolds–that’s a $285 value!

Head on over to 29 diapers and get your entry in!

Three

My Pie is growing up! Today is her THIRD birthday! How in the world did she get to be that old already? She woke up to find a tricycle built for 2, sent by her Grandpa Dave. (Chris and Sam spent the evening before putting it together.) Then opened the rest of her gifts. Her cousin's sent Pie and Sam their most favorite toys of their own childhood - a whole box full of My Little Ponies and a Leapfrog book reader! Grandma and Grandpa M sent a "Color Me A Song"  and an "I Spy" game. Daddy got her an awesome Tonka Firetruck!

Pie and I got busy mixing and baking her birthday cake - yellow and chocolate swirl, with chocolate frosting and of course - sprinkles!

We got ready and headed out to find a swimming pool. That was not an easy task. Well, finding the pool was - finding that was open for swimming was another story. We ended up driving all around then then stopped at McDonald's playland in Bangor. They had replaced their jungle gym and is now more friendly for smaller kids. Sam and Pie both had a great time playing on the musical slide and Pie climbed aaaaalll the way to the top of the tower to slide down the biiiiiig tube slide!

It was almost time to go back to the swimming pool, so we headed back out into the cold and drove around to see some Christmas lights, since it was already dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. (gotta love December in Maine, or not.) Some houses were decorated really nice and others looked like they opened a window, chucked a string of lights out and plugged it in! I guess Christmas spirit comes in all different forms!

Finally it was time to go swimming. The girls had a great time splashing in the water and sliding down the dinosaur slide. Pie had the most fun trowing every.single.toy into the pool. We played for about an hour then headed back home for birthday cake and bed.

It was a great day, I am so blessed to be a part of Pie's life and so thankful that she made me a mom. 

Baby Girl

"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Hi, Mommy Baby Girl."
"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Hi, Mommy Baby Girl."
"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Mommy, I love you allllllllll up."

Fruit of our Labor

This afternoon the girls and I harvested our pumpkins from our garden. We ended up with 14 nice orange  and 5 nice sized green pumpkins. I really had no idea how many to expect when we planted them and then being gone most of the summer, I kind of expected the garden to be a bust. We filled the wagon twice to get the pumpkins back to the house and unloaded them in the flower garden until Chris has a day off and can help us carve them. What a chore THAT is going to be! Too bad no one will see them since we live in the boonies. I guess thats what Facebook is for!

Our harvest makes me really happy, especially because my mom and dad were here to help plant the garden, it makes me feel like they are still here and are apart of our halloween.