As the mother of 2 girls, I have heard a number of times that the "family name" will end since we didn't have boys to carry it on. I came from a family with 2 daughters, as did my mother, several generations of "family names" have ended in my family and never once have I heard one word about it.
I can not tell you how much this bothers me. Not that the family name ends, but how insulting it feels that my girls are less important, less valuable, not worthy and wont contribute to our world somehow because they didn't have the honor of passing down a name. It's not that I don't have respect for my husband's family heritage, after all I gave up my own name to take his.
It just seems like such an old fashioned idea and so much expectation is placed on the the child based only on their gender. There is no guarantee that a son would grow up and have children, or if he does, that the mother would have taken his name, possibly giving the children her maiden name or a combination of the two. Just as there is no guarantee that a girl will give up her own name if she marries - IF she marries.
It's impossible to know what the world will be like when my daughters are grown up and are creating their families. Placing so much importance of something like a name on the sex of a child just seems so trivial and well, sexist to me. Not to mention hurtful, when said to the mother of two girls.
2 comments:
I LOVE this post, its so awesome the way you said everything, its true far too many times this happens. Like you said, no one knows what the future holds...Your girls are great no matter what there names are!!!
I agree. Very well said. Thankfully, nobody has said this one to me. I guess my in-laws don't care.
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