I recently read a thread on a debate message board about children's appearances and how they reflect on the parenting the child receives. The majority of the posters felt "sorry" for children who had dirty hands or stains of their clothes and assumed that they were left unattended while the parent were consumed with themselves. It was so important to these posters that their children be perfectly clean and in matching outfits every time they left the house, even if it was a quick trip to the grocery store because they felt they'd be judged and looked at as bad parents.
I could not help but shake my head as I read this thread. It is no wonder why so many girls (and boys) have self esteem and body image issues when their mother's make such a big deal out of their appearances from the second they are born.
While I think my girls are beautiful, I want them to see themselves as smart, kind, friendly, generous, and helpful. I hope that they can see past the paint and perfume that their classmates will wear to school and love them for who they really are, whether they wear the latest fashions or their sister's hand-me-downs.
So when you see us at the grocery store and my girls have dirty hands or crumbs on their faces you might want to take a look at me too, because I was right there playing in the mud puddles with them and I baked the cookies that they ate on the way shopping. If that makes me a bad mom, so be it. Life is too short to worry about matching outfits.
2 comments:
This is so true. My girls a lot of the times may have a dirty face. But I want them to know that is not what is important in life! Not how you dress or what your hair looks like..Its your heart!
I think I "broke" J's unique ways when she started school and I really regret that. While I do try and make sure the girls are clean, I'm not into making them perfect to run to the store. J used to come down in the silliest outfits - sometimes 3 different outfits combined and it was great!! I loved it! But, when she started going to school, I started saying "that doesn't match". And she'd be devastated and go back upstairs to change. Recently I saw some pictures of my unique dresser and decided not to do that anymore. If she wants to wear clothes that don't match, more power to her. I'll be the mom smiling and proud of how different and unique she is. (I actually was going to blog about this, just haven't gotten to it yet).
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