Snow Days

Chris went back to work this week after 3 weeks of time off over the holidays. Partly due to a hurt neck and partly due to a lack of work. It was nice to have him home but nice to get back to normal too.

It's been cold and snowy this week and frankly, I just haven't felt like getting out and going anywhere. So we've gotten some extra cleaning done this week and done some arts and crafts here at home!

We cut apart a cardboard box, leftover from Christmas and dissected the latest Current catalog that came in the mail, mixed some flour and water and made decoupage Valentine cards for daddy. (Everything we make ends up being for daddy!)

With a few Wacky Mac noodles the projects were complete!

 

Wheeeeee!

On New Year's day we headed over to Abbot Park in Winterport to go sledding! Pie and I had so much fun while daddy with his sore neck watched and Sam slept in the truck.

We raced down the hill, sometimes I won and sometimes she did. I was impressed at how well she was willing to walk back up the hill. At 36+ pounds, I don't think I could have carried her too many times, along with 2 sleds!

Sam woke up in time for a couple runs too and had a blast sledding with her sister!



Life on a mountain in the winter.

We got more that a foot of snow in the "Blizzard of 2010" on December 27th. It snow for about 36 hours straight. On the 28th we got out and attempted to plow the hill so we could get down the driveway. Our house sits about 200 feet up off the main road and the hill is pretty darn steep. It ended up turning into a Murphy's law kind of day. The snow was so wet and heavy that the plow (with a broken spring) was getting pushed up over the snow instead of staying down on the ground. It took us about twice as many swipes but eventually we saw the dirt again.

Along the south side of the hill runs a ditch that gets deeper and deeper every year as the water runs off the mountain down into the drainage ditch. At one point we got a little bit to close to the ditch and got stuck. Glad we have another truck so we could pull the plow truck out! Then... we ran out of gas. So we loaded up in the Tundra and headed to town only to find out that Wally World was sold out of gas cans. We ended up with a yellow "kerosene" can that worked just fine, we also picked up some jumper cables because the plow truck seems to like to eat batteries for lunch.

We made it home and started to plow down the hill again, got to the bottom, turned around in the road and the truck dies again! Chris has to hike his tired butt back up the slippery hill to bring the Tundra back down. He pulled the plow out of the road and tried to jump it again. No luck. So we went back up, got the battery out of the other truck, made it back up the hill with both trucks. we only had a little bit more left to plow but now the plow wont lift up! By this time we were all ready to just give it up! 

Is it April yet?

Observations in Playland

Yesterday Pie wanted to go to McDonald's Play land. She bugged and begged her daddy until he gave in and took us all for a late lunch before we did a little grocery shopping. The closest indoor Micky D's play land is in Bangor about 25 miles from home. I continue to be amazed that there are so few places to take your kids to play, especially in the winter. I guess maybe that is why Maine has such an obesity problem.

Both girls fell asleep on the way. This made me happy because Sam had been getting in the habit of taking some really long, late naps lately which means she wants to stay up late. That would be OK except that Pie likes to get up when the rooster crows.

Both girls were so thrilled to wake up and see Ronald's shining smile greet them at the door and the smell of chicken nuggets and of course that promised toy in the happy meal box. They both ate a good unhealthy lunch ( and yes I let them have fries over "apple dippers" because well, they like them.) Then we headed off to play!

McD's has have recently replaced their play land equipment and created a toddler area with an cool piano slide that makes music as you slide down. Unfortunately, there were 5 girls that had taken over the area who were clearly older than the age limit of 3. Pie can hold her own pretty well but the older girls weren't so nice to Sam. I was about to bust out my mama bear protectiveness when the nice older lady who oversees the play area stepped in and got the girls under control.

As I looked around and matched up the kids with the parents I found it interesting to see how many parents had their laptops open or were absorbed by their smart phones while their kids were running amok. I will admit that I do spend plenty of time online and the girls spend a considerable amount of time watching TV but when we are out doing something as a family, I want to make the most of it and I actually enjoy watching my girls play. I felt bad for the parents who were missing out on the time they were wasting with their children. They grow up so fast and I have the feeling that the internet will be here for a long time to come.

My New Year's resolution is to remember to keep those priorities straight.

She melts my heart

Pie has really impressed me with her ability to know the right thing to say at the right time. She has an amazing sense to know when someone is upset and needs a hug or tells them she loves them. She doesn't like to see anyone unhappy. She has warmed my heart so many times lately and it just makes me so proud that she has this trait. She is usually rough and tough and loves to run and be wild so I'm glad to see her show such a sensitive side too. She really is an amazing child.

Christmas Day

Despite all my bah-humbug-ness we had a really nice Christmas. It took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to get them to sleep on Christmas Eve, mostly because they had both taken nice long naps during the day. Pie and Sam decided to get in the Christmas spirit buy singing, or rather, yelling JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLLLLLLLLLS!!!! At the top of their lungs. It was hilarious! At least for a while...

Christmas morning we woke up and the girls were so excited to see all the presents under the tree and so happy that daddy had filled their stockings. They both did really well making sure the other one had a present to open and were actually more excited about the gifts than the paper!

They got some really amazing gifts, especially the picture puzzles that Grandpa had made for them. And of course the loved their pillow pets that they have been going crazy for every time they see them in the store!

They were truly blessed with so many new toys and gifts from everyone. And I am proud to say that my girls were happy to get so many new books!

My Christmas gift was an hour to my self, to relax and take a little nap. After I got up we went outside to play in the snow and then cooked our traditional Christmas dinner of manicotti. Yum, yum!!

I am thankful that we had a very nice day!

Through Her Eyes

Last night Pie wanted to take some pictures with my camera. It was amazing to see what she saw through the lens. I asked her to help me caption the picutres she took...

Lily

 "My Firetruck"

 "Tig"

 "Sammie's Bear"

 "It's the Christmas tree"

"Sammie and her bear"

 

"Pie with her eyes"



Bah HumBug!

As an adult I have grown to really dislike the holiday season. It starts out with the end of summer, which leads to my gardens dieing off, flowers wilting away, leaves falling and then the dreaded snow. Winter is just plain depressing, I count the days until spring comes and I see new sprouts, buds and life again.

Christmas was wonderful as a child, I have no complaints. My parents did a great job making the holidays happy. There was rarely drama and never any guilt trips, at least that I noticed as a child. It was wonderful having all three sets of Grandparents around and they all got along so well. I never knew how much of an amazing thing that was at the time. Christmas morning was magical and everything that a child thinks it should be.

Once I became independent and had to start actually buying Christmas presents for everyone and try to pay the normal bills too, I realized how stressful the holidays are financially. We barely had enough money to cover the grocery bill, let alone to buy presents, especially equal to what we ended up receiving. That always made me feel guilty and less than.

Our families do not get along with each other and so most of our holidays were spent divided up between the two and always with a dash of tears and a sprinkle of guilt. No matter how much time we spent with certain people there was always the "Oh, you have to leave now?" drama fest that grated on the Christmas spirit until it no longer existed.

Since we moved away from Colorado, our holidays have become much less stressful and I can avoid the guilt just by not answering the phone (Chris isn't always so lucky). We are able to do what we want and can spend our time actually enjoying the holiday and creating our own traditions. I don't feel obligated or committed to anything that means nothing to me. But I do miss my family so much.

I hate that I feel like this about a time of year that is supposed to be so freaking wonderful, but I do. I would just as soon boycott the whole damn thing and get on with spring already. I've tried to get into the festive-ness of it all for the sake of our girls. I don't want my scrooge tendencies to rub off on them.

It has been hard on Pie this year. Her birthday is 4 days before Christmas and gets to open some gifts but has to be patient and leave the rest until Christmas morning. Last night proved to be too much for her to handle and she ended up having the worst meltdown ever. It broke my heart to see her like that over something that is supposed to be happy and it made her miserable. I tried to let her know that I understood, that i knew it was hard, her feelings were totally valid. Finally she calmed down enough to get in her jammies and drifted off to dreamland only to wake up again knowing she had presents to open. I think maybe next year we need to re-think this whole thing and really figure out what it's supposed to be all about because what we've been doing just doesn't feel  right.

How lucky am I?

Facebook is a very interesting thing. I love how it can be custom for each user and can be so very very different depending on each person's interests. Chris only uses his facebook to play Mobsters2 and a few other games. He rarely ever reads the newsfeed and most of his "friends" are people who he doesn't even know. My facebook keep my in touch with my family and my closest friends and keep my informed of news and topics dear to my heart: natural living, parenting, breastfeeding and cloth diapering. I don't have a ton of friends and don't want facebook to be a virtual high school reunion, I've moved way, way, WAY beyond those years and have z.e.r.o. desire to relive that part of my life.

I was talking to Chris the other day about our diaper stash, the girls are so close to being done with diapers (I really don't like the term potty "trained", they aren't dogs and I haven't done much training anyway, they've learned to use the potty based on their own abilities...) Anyway, most of our diapers are about shot. The newest prefolds are going on 2 years old and have been used on both girls. They have held up really well but have been used and abused!

29 diapers has had the MOST awesome giveaway going on this month. For 29 days they have given away some of the coolest prizes, diapers, covers and so many other products related to cloth diapering! I was lucky enough to win 2 dozen prefolds from their sponsor  The Little Seedling ! How exciting is that?

There is still one giveaway left and it's the BIG ONE! Woohooo! The grand prize is: an autographed copy of the book Ecofrugal Baby: How To Save 70% Off Baby’s First Year, a 3-pack of Happy Heinys pocket diapers, a pack of Bummas cloth wipes, an Itzy Ritzy wet bag, Zoe Organics diaper balm, a gallon of Allen’s Naturally detergent from The Little Seedling boutique, a Weleda baby toiletries starter kit, Episencial wash, soothing cream, and face balm to pamper both mom and baby, AND 2 Thirsties Duo Wrap diaper covers with 4 Duo Hemp Prefolds–that’s a $285 value!

Head on over to 29 diapers and get your entry in!

Three

My Pie is growing up! Today is her THIRD birthday! How in the world did she get to be that old already? She woke up to find a tricycle built for 2, sent by her Grandpa Dave. (Chris and Sam spent the evening before putting it together.) Then opened the rest of her gifts. Her cousin's sent Pie and Sam their most favorite toys of their own childhood - a whole box full of My Little Ponies and a Leapfrog book reader! Grandma and Grandpa M sent a "Color Me A Song"  and an "I Spy" game. Daddy got her an awesome Tonka Firetruck!

Pie and I got busy mixing and baking her birthday cake - yellow and chocolate swirl, with chocolate frosting and of course - sprinkles!

We got ready and headed out to find a swimming pool. That was not an easy task. Well, finding the pool was - finding that was open for swimming was another story. We ended up driving all around then then stopped at McDonald's playland in Bangor. They had replaced their jungle gym and is now more friendly for smaller kids. Sam and Pie both had a great time playing on the musical slide and Pie climbed aaaaalll the way to the top of the tower to slide down the biiiiiig tube slide!

It was almost time to go back to the swimming pool, so we headed back out into the cold and drove around to see some Christmas lights, since it was already dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. (gotta love December in Maine, or not.) Some houses were decorated really nice and others looked like they opened a window, chucked a string of lights out and plugged it in! I guess Christmas spirit comes in all different forms!

Finally it was time to go swimming. The girls had a great time splashing in the water and sliding down the dinosaur slide. Pie had the most fun trowing every.single.toy into the pool. We played for about an hour then headed back home for birthday cake and bed.

It was a great day, I am so blessed to be a part of Pie's life and so thankful that she made me a mom. 

Baby Girl

"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Hi, Mommy Baby Girl."
"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Hi, Mommy Baby Girl."
"Hi, Sammie Baby Girl."
"Mommy, I love you allllllllll up."

Fruit of our Labor

This afternoon the girls and I harvested our pumpkins from our garden. We ended up with 14 nice orange  and 5 nice sized green pumpkins. I really had no idea how many to expect when we planted them and then being gone most of the summer, I kind of expected the garden to be a bust. We filled the wagon twice to get the pumpkins back to the house and unloaded them in the flower garden until Chris has a day off and can help us carve them. What a chore THAT is going to be! Too bad no one will see them since we live in the boonies. I guess thats what Facebook is for!

Our harvest makes me really happy, especially because my mom and dad were here to help plant the garden, it makes me feel like they are still here and are apart of our halloween.

The Butterfly Effect

Today, October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.

June 23, 2001 is the day I had my miscarriage. It was devastating to me, completely life changing. I felt pain in my heart that I never knew existed and I felt like no one understood what I was going through. 

I had what was called a "blighted ovum" which means the egg and sperm met created a yoke sack but nothing else. When I explained this to people (because they always asked why it happened) I was told more than once that I wasn't really pregnant anyway.  It would have hurt less to drive a dull butter knife into my heart and twist repeatedly. I was in mourning for the baby that could have been even if he never existed. I named him Jasper and even if he was never really in my womb, he has always been in my heart.

Sometimes I feel lucky that I suffered only one early miscarriage when I know of so many others who have had many and have seen their little babies during ultrasounds and heard their heartbeats. My heart breaks for those mothers who have given birth to babies who were sleeping. I can not imagine how I would go on.

Even though my heart aches for the child that could have been and six years of infertility that tore me apart, I am so grateful that God had another plan for my life. The thought of having children spured Chris and I to make some changes in our lives. Some good and some bad, but without those changes we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have our two beautiful, perfect, amazing daughters. Chris might not have come out of his dark depression that lasted way too long, to become the hard working and accomplished man he is today.

I hope to never feel another loss like I did when I had the miscarriage again but it was a turning point in my life that I will never wish away.

My thoughts and prayers goes out to anyone who has ever felt the loss of a child born or unborn, and hope that every mother and father can find some peace in their heart.

Socialization

I've been accused of not giving my girls enough socialization. We live on the side of a mountain with no neighbors within sight, we only have one friend with a child that is close to our girls age and they aren't in daycare.

I've made a point, not long after Sammie was born to start going to the local story time at the library in Bucksport. Oh my holy goodness was it ever b.o.r.i.n.g! Pie needed somewhere to get her wiggles out and PLAY, especially during the winter months. We found a playgroup last winter that was very unstructured free play. It worked well to get the wiggles out but there wasn't enough guidance by all of the parent to prevent squabbles over the toys provided. I wanted Pie to learn how to play nicely, not learn to fight!

When we were in New Hamster (as Pie calls it!) we found the most fabulous story time/play group that has ever existed! The librarian sang songs, read stories, blew bubbles for each of the kids, had a parachute (and sings to go with it) and then provided some type of craft afterwards. It was awesome and both of the girls loved going. They'd ask every morning if they could go to the playgroup.

I vowed once we got home that I would keep searching until I found something as close to awesome as I could.

On Monday we went to a play group in Hampden that was described as a program for children ages three months to six years old. It is an interactive program for children and their parent/caregiver. Adults make use of our educational toys to play with their child. These toys encourage manipulative ability as well as color and letter recognition. OK, that sounds great! We got there right on time and there was one little boy playing a color sorting game with his mother. He looked up as we walked in and was quickly told to focus on what he was doing. Poor little guy was only curious about the two (adorable) little girls who had come to play "with all the little boys and girls". I was shocked. I realize that parent involvement was expected but isn't learning how to play with other kids just as important as mastering every educational game that's marketed to improve your child's whatever?

As my girls looked through the games they asked if they could play with this or that and I told them they could play with anything they wanted to including the other children. But still heard several parents reign their kids back into whatever game they were supposed to be focusing on when they ventured off toward the other children. We finally made our way across the room and ended up finding a nice older lady who was the nanny to a young girl just learning to walk. She was very nice and played with Pie.

On Tuesday we met our friends Nicole and her daughter, Cadence at the big slide park in Belfast, lunch at McDonald's and then played on the children's floor of the Belfast Free Library. Wednesday we did a little shopping in Bangor.

This morning we went back to the playgroup in Bucksport and the girls did really well. Out of 6 parents, there were 2 of us who didn't just sit along the wall while their kids ran wild. The other mom was really nice and we got along quite well. This playgroup was the extreme opposite of the one we visited on Monday but I guess by going to them both the girls get the best of both worlds.

Tomorrow we plan to hit the Discovery museum for their version of story time and "clay play".

So, if you still think my girls need socialization, I guess you really have no clue how we spend out time. I very strrongly  believe you don't have to pay a daycare or depend on public school to teach your children social skills.

Names

When we were in New Hampshire a little girl asked Pie what her name was. She just stood there smiling not sure what to say. Since then we have been talking about what all of our names are. She knows what daddy's name is and after hearing me call for him she promptly called him by his first name too. It was so cute! She learned Sammie's first and middle name and knows my first and last name. When I ask her what her name is she says Leona Pie or occasionally Oprah which always sends me in to a giggle fit!

We also have been trying to differentiate between the grandparents and how they are related to her. She knows the Grandparents who come to visit in the spring are my mommy and daddy and the grandparents who come in the fall are daddy's parents. While shopping the other day with the paternal grandparents she heard me speak to fil then called him, like I did, by his first name, only to be scolded by her paternal grandmother (a title I'm not sure is deserved) that she was never to call him that again and to only ever call him GRANDPA. Pie was so devastated. Poor girl was only associating a name with a person and was so happy to know his name. Leave it to her to crush some one's spirit.

My daughter can me whatever she wishes as long as it's respectful, after all I call her Pie.